Wow. Mentally I was just so out of it yesterday because I went over 1,000 over my calorie intake and I am so frustrated with myself. I leave for Portland tomorrow and I wanted to be able to splurge there but instead I did this. I really don’t want to gain back my weight that I have worked hard for soo….. I really need motivation.
So I splurged — there goes all of my hard work. Just got home from the Chinese lunch buffet and my thoughts are: totally was not worth it. Keep this in mind next time you are tempted by endless Chinese food, Elle. All my hard work for nothing!
And I’ll be in Portland so soon and I’m going to a concert tonight— two reasons to look skinny! OH WELL. Over it.
Today is my worst day (as far as intake is concerned) in the past 45 days, I’m really bummed right now. I hope I don’t gain weight. I really want to stay at 153.
So, I have eaten a little more than usual today but no splurging, everything I have eaten has been healthy. I think I was eating way to less and this way I’m not too miserable.
Breakfast: Half a cup of grapes, decaf coffee + .5 tablespoon fat free hot cocoa in it, Blueberry bagel thins toasted with 1.5 tablespoon fat free cream cheese.
Lunch: English breakfast tea, Orange jello sugar free, piece of 35 calorie wheat bread with fat free american cheese and a few slices of tomato.
Dinner: 35 cal bread, non fat American cheese and a tomato slice.
Snacks: Lipton diet iced tea, 1/2 cup dry fiber one cereal, a Green Giant “Just for one” broccoli and cheese tray.
Yeah, So I do think that this is a nice healthier way of eating and I don’t go so crazy for food and stuff but at the same time once I start eating it’s harder for me to stop where as I have more willpower the other way. Idk…. whatever I’m still WAY more healthy than I was before. I guess I just wanted to be at 149 by Portland on Sunday but that is looking a little unrealistic.
Oh well, as long as I am at 155 by the time I come home from Portland and then it’s back to work!
So, yesterday I went shopping and tried on some stuff. In the dressing room, I grabbed some jeans hoping that I fit into a size 6-8 (I was dreaming big I guess) and I tried them on and none of them fit which was totally upsetting. On top of that in the mirror I noticed I have more cellulite on the back of my legs than I realized. I know I’m making improvements but I have to keep working to see the results I want to see.
I am at 154 as of today and want to get down to 140 (eventually into the 130’s perhaps). I am particularly excited to reach 149 not only because it will be exciting to see the digit change but also because that will mean I am in the healthy/average bmi range for my height and weight!!
Once I reach like 145/140 I am going to pamper myself! I am planning on getting nails/toes done, eyebrows waxed, purchasing teeth whitening strips from the drugstore, getting a glowing tan (not usually a fan of tanning beds so we’ll see…) and buy myself some hot flattering outfits. ;)
I know originally I told myself I have until August to get to my goal weight but I would like to get there by end of May/early June. Firstly, I want to look great for Summer Camp and be able to wear really cute outfits and not worry about dressing flattering. I want to look good for graduation! I want to walk up there to get my diploma and just look beautiful and be proud of the woman I have become inside and out. Also, I want to look hot for Summerfest. I feel like I always look good for Summerfest because I always run into so many people there and I want to leave a lasting impression on some of these people before I’m off to college, maybe I’ll meet some people too? And I also want to look amazing for when I see my relatives that I never see in late June.